Monday, October 31, 2011

When you get bucked off the horse, you gotta get back on!

This post topic was suggested by my mother, mom, mommy, best friend, whatever you wish to refer to her as.

Back in early middle school sometime, I was on a scout camp out by Sand Hallow Reservoir. We were riding horses out in the sand dunes having a jolly ol’ time. There were 4 or 5 of us out on this ride and we were galloping through the sand dunes Arabian Knight style. Straight up booking it. Well my horse’s front hoof caught an air pocket and went out of stride. The horse decided its best option was to tuck its head and roll, disregarding the fact that I was on its back. Next thing I know my face slams into the sand and the horse rolls over top of me and lands right back on his feet. Other than some scrapes on my face and feeling pretty sore and shook up I was ok. But the horse got a broken nose (serves him right). But after taking a bad spill I had to get back on the horse and ride back to camp. Ironically I have not ridden a horse since then. Not because I’m scared, I just haven’t been around any horses.  Getting bucked off a horse is a lot like dating, and this year I took a bad spill so to speak. And that is what this post is about.

Over Christmas break I was doing the unthinkable, reading a book under my own free will. That’s how bored I was this particular night. I happened to have my laptop with me open to Facebook. I noticed a post from a girl I was friends from high school, even though we had never really talked to each other. Her status said “Having a date night with Mr. Redbox” (or something to that affect) and I decided that since obviously she wasn’t having the ideal night either, I’d send her a message just for the heck of it. We began talking and ended up messaging back and forth pretty late into the night. I got her number and we continued to text quite a bit over the next couple weeks and we wanted to hang out but our schedules were completely opposite making it very difficult. I finally convinced her to come to Krave with me late one night after she got off work. Neither of us was expecting anything because the majority of our conversation was centered around the fact that she was leaving to Florida for seven months on an internship to work at Disney World. We sat outside Krave that night and talked till well after they closed, and even after I took her back to her car at her work we sat and talked for another hour or two.

For the next few weeks we were inseparable. Any waking moment that we weren’t working, we were together. We fell hard and fast for each other. After a few weeks the dreaded day came that she moved to Florida. We decided that we cared enough about each other that we wanted to make it work until she came back. We text and talked every day and about a month after she left I couldn’t take it anymore and needed to see her so I took a trip to Florida and spent a week with her visiting all the parks. We had a great time and loved every minute of it. When I had to say goodbye I could tell things were serious when we were both sobbing as the shuttle came to pick me up to take me to the airport. The next few months there wasn’t a day we didn’t talk. I kept in close contact with her family and visited them often, watching movies and playing games with them. It turned out her little sister who I had grown to love as my own sister got accepted to do the same internship as her so she’d be moving to Florida as well. This is where things began to get a little sketchy.

She had mentioned she was thinking about applying to extend until January so she could stay the whole time her sister was there. I obviously was not a fan of this idea but said that whatever she wanted to do I’d support her, but that I wanted her to come home so we could see where our relationship could go. There had been discussion of the “M” word, so it blew my mind that she’d want to keep herself across the country from me for another 7 months. We discussed this touchy subject a thousand times and the more it was discussed the more I didn’t want her to stay, and the more torn she became because her family wanted her there, and she wanted to finish the program with her sister like they had dreamed about for so long.

In May her sister moved down to Florida so I decided to take yet another trip down so I could help her sister get everything down, but mainly just to see her. This trip was not as smooth as the first. There was a little contention because of all the stress of getting her sister settled in. They had not seen each other in months, and we of course wanted some alone time as well so her sister felt left out. We tried to include her but also wanted to have a few days to ourselves since I’d be leaving soon. The dreaded day came that I left Florida again. I was sick to my stomach the night before I left.  She was at her apartment and I was in the hotel packing. I was so sick I even threw up a couple times. I text my dad and told him I’d never felt like this before and he called me and we had a good heart to heart. My dad and I are close but we don’t really talk too much about serious matters so this conversation meant a lot to me and he gave me some great advice. That night I threw up several more times and I could not stand the thought of leaving because I didn’t know if I’d be seeing her in a month, or if she would get accepted to stay and I wouldn’t see her until January. That was hands down the worst goodbye of my life. I went back home to Saint George and a few weeks later she told me that she had decided to apply to extend. I did not approve at all and I was pretty upset about it but I knew it was important to her so I tried to be supportive. Obviously I didn’t do a good job.

A few weeks after she began acting strange. Texts were few and far between. Our phone conversations seemed really distant, and I could tell something was not right. After a few days of this going on I was at work and we were texting each other and I confronted her on how she had been acting and I wanted to know that everything was alright. It wasn’t though. She broke up with me via text. Classy right? I tried calling her but she wouldn’t pick up and neither would her parents. To add insult to injury it was the day before our anniversary  and I knew she had the day off so I sent her flowers along with a box of her favorite DVD’s, popcorn, candy, and other miscellaneous things so her and her sister could have a movie night since I knew they didn’t have much money.  Most girlfriends would think I’m a freaking gem, but instead she dumped me! Then a few weeks after the breakup I heard through the grapevine that she didn’t get accepted and ended up coming home when she was original scheduled to.

I thought I had that part of my life planned out and just like that it was over. I may or may not have spent the next month sitting at home being depressed while watching every single episode of Lost, mingled with work and five rounds of golf a week. Not the proudest time of my life. But now that it has been a while since all that has happened it’s time to get back on the “dating horse” so to speak. I’ve been on several dates since then but never took any of them too serious. I guess it’s time to give it a real shot again.

I could have gone into a lot more detail about the relationship and how I all unfolded but that is a basic outline. I haven’t spoken to her since the breakup but I wish her the best with whatever she’s doing. But as for me, I’m getting back on the horse! I was reminded of a good lesson last night. “We’re on the Lords time table, not our own.” So I guess as much as I wanted for that relationship to work out, it wasn’t right.  So no matter what, “When you get bucked off the horse, you gotta get back on”

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Things That Grind My Gears

The last few times in my Pickleball class, I've played with the same few people, but there is one kid in particular that really gets on my nerves. It’s for the absolute dumbest reasons but nevertheless, every opportunity I get I smash the ball at him in hopes of hitting him where it counts. A few things that irritate me, he calls the score out before every persons serve. Even after I said the score 2 seconds before! After picking up the ball he never hits it back to the person who is going to be serving, he just smacks it to the back wall for the server to pick up. He tries to tell us how to play, when he is clearly worse than the other three of us on the court. Those are all little things, but for whatever reason, I cannot tolerate him and he has made me realize some new pet peeves I didn’t know I had. So that is what this post is about. Things that really grind my gears.  A quick side note: Don’t judge me. I’m thinking of the pet peeves in my head, and even when I try to explain them to myself they sound ridiculous, so I can only imagine how they will come off to you. But we all have our own pet peeves that most people don’t understand.

One that only a few people will understand took place at my old college ward in Saint George. It’s the greatest ward in the world. But one thing I did not like is that immediately following the closing prayer, the Sunday School President would get up, and give a quick thought before saying what the classes were for the day. That isn’t what bothered me. What bothered me is when he got up and the very first line out of his mouth was “Welcome to Sunday School.” That statement really got on my nerves because he was implying that Sunday School was beginning right then, and that we were going to remain seated in the chapel for the next hour. Since I had experienced it countless times I knew that was not the case. However, each week I had to watch 5 or more members of the congregation that were visiting, frantically look at each other unsure of what to do because they planned on leaving immediately after sacrament. So they would get up and leave in the middle of his introduction to Sunday School. Such a stupid pet peeve, but those who sat next to me during that time could see the look on my face and the irritation that it brought.

One I think everyone can relate to is slow walkers on sidewalks, or in a hallway. People that are oblivious to other people trying to get around and think they are the only ones entitled to getting around on campus. Yesterday I had an experience where these two girls cut me off in the hallway, and took it upon themselves to walk as slowly as possible and take up the entire hallway so I could not even pass, so after nearly stepping on the back of their shoes a couple times I politely said “Excuse me” as I squeezed past them in the small hallway. I looked at them and gave a small courteous grin and (not to be racist) but the black girl turned and looked at me and gave me one of the most disgusted looks I’ve received in a while. As if I was a complete A hole for wanting to actually progress in a forward direction as I walk.

Another is people who have no concept of time. Time is relevant, or so they say in physics. But that’s why we have cell phones and watches. Some people have no concept of time. If somebody says they are going to meet me at 11:00, they sure as heck better be there no more than 5 minutes late. One example happened this last conference during the Saturday session. I text my good friend between sessions to go get lunch. He said he needed to shower and what not so I said ok let’s meet at Durangos at 1:05. I know he is typically late so even gave him some spare time and I went to Old Navy to kill some time. He didn’t show up until 1:42. I sat there waiting for 37 minutes as if I had nothing better to do with my time. This happens constantly with my friends. If we say we are going to play basketball at 8:30, I can show up at 9 and still be one of the first ones there. But yet I still show up at 8:30 because I am OCD about being punctual.

Those are all stupid little pet peeves, nothing to go on a shooting spree about. But  they grind my gears to say the least. I have more I could go off about like cars not signaling when they turn, girls that are attractive wearing too much make up rendering them unattractive, and others along those lines, but we’ll leave it at that for now. If you guys have any pet peeves of your own leave them in the comment box so I won’t feel so weird about my quirky pet peeves.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Friend Zone.

Ok this topic has been a reoccurring theme in my life and I think its time we clear a couple things up. A few weeks ago I ran across this quote and I cannot put this concept into better perspective than this does.

"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person we did hire."

I could just end this post here but ill go on a late night rant because I'm not tired.... and because my roommate is asleep so I can't watch TV. This just sums up how ridiculous some girls can be. That may sound a bit harsh but every guy reading this agrees with me and every girl is laughing a little to themselves because they have a guy or two in mind that fits that exact description.

The very first line should clear up some fog for the girls and I will restate it. Guys DO NOT initially hang out with girls because we want to be friends. We just don't think like that. If we sit by you in class, get your number, text you, sit by you at church, add you on Facebook or have any sort of interaction with you, it is because our intention is to be more than friends. We have friends, plenty of them, so we are hoping you will be something more special to us.

Next, don't refer to a guy as "like a brother" unless he is in fact, from the same womb in which you came from. (Or an African American). I've never heard a guy refer to a girl friend as his sister. That's for one simple reason: we don't want to date our sisters. Also referring to the guy as your "best friend" isn't going to help your cause. Ask any 'happily' (key word here) married couple who their best friend is and they will say their spouces name.

How do you know if a guy is over you and is ok with being in the friend zone? There are a few ways to tell. First he may ask you to set him up with friends you have. And he will openly discuss his interest in other girls with you. But as a disclaimer: this doesn't always mean he's lost interest in you. It could be a tactic to try and make you jealous. Or he could even just be trying to find someone new so he will have a way to lose interest in you. (Not because he wants to, but because your not interested) Another clear cut sign he has accepted his position in the friend zone is his lack of interaction and communication with you. If he stops talking to you and stops asking you to hang out, it means friendship alone wasn't enough. He wanted something more. This does not make him a jerk though. He has just as much right to determine the strength of the relationship as the girl. You wanting to be friends, and him wanting more is equal to, him not wanting anything if he can't be more than friends. Its a sad fact but its true, guys and girls can't always be just friends. Its all or nothing in some cases.

Lastly, your single guy friends don't want to hear about other guys. Especially if you've rejected him, that's insult to injury. That's not rocket science. So what if this other guy is good looking? More than likely he's a douchebag and is going to hurt your you. And as much as we don't want to, your close guy friends will be there for you when he breaks your heart. Because we genuinely care about you. Will that change your opinion about your friend you have locked down in the friend zone? Of course not. Because why would you l want to date your best friend that's always there for you no matter how much it hurts them to watch you keep dating the wrong guy. That would just be silly and too logical of you girls.

There isn't really a conclusion to this rant, because after every valid point made in this blog, girls will continue to lock guys up in the friend zone even though that "friend" is a better match than any tool that looks her way. Its a sad part of reality we face. But hopefully this will open up at least one girls eyes and save a poor guy from the friend zone. He deserves better.

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Value of Bueno Amigos (good friends)

Tonight I played games and hung out with some old friends, as well as some new ones. It's safe to say I have the funniest friends on this side of the Mississippi. We laugh for hours about everything you can imagine. Stupid movies we love, accidental fart noises, auto races (specifically Jr.), memories dating back to elementary school, and so much more. The best part about it though is its all good, clean fun. In today's world there's so much vulgarity and subject matter that's really not appropriate. With my group of friends none of that has ever been an issue. That's the topic of this post: surrounding yourself with good people.

I was never a bad kid, but I could have had my chances. We will fast forward to 7th grade real quick. I was a dashing young student eager to start my next educational journey as an 8th grader at Pine View Middle School when tragedy struck. The district changed the boundaries and I was going to be attending Dixie instead. I had plenty of friends going to both schools so it’s not like I was singled out. Little did I know that change may have been the factor that changed my life forever.

8th grade was better than anticipated. I made a lot of new friends but most importantly became better friends with kids in my own neighborhood who before were just acquaintances. I stayed friends with a lot of my PV friends but there was something about my new close group of friends. With them I never felt any pressure and never felt out of place. They were all good examples to me and I started to realize what the difference was. They had all grown up in the church and there was something about how they carried themselves that stood out above everyone else.

9th grade rolled around and I signed up for seminary (ironically cause I heard you could ditch and you didn't get restitution) I actually switched out since I wasn't LDS but my schedule was all out of wack and for whatever reason signed up again and actually went to class. (Because what would a 9th grader even do when they ditch? ) It turned out I had a few close friends in the class and they made seminary great. I was clueless and they explained things to me and made me feel right at home. To speed up the story I started taking the missionary discussions at my friend’s house because his dad was the bishop of my ward. I was a confused 14 year old boy, hardly understood half of what I was being taught, and the elders asked me if I wanted to be baptized. I went home and thought about it, and even reluctantly talked to my mom about it. Her response changed everything. Worried she may be against it she told me whatever I chose to do she would support me, and that cleared up a lot of my hesitation.

 I still didn't know the first thing about the gospel, but I saw how my friends lived their lives and I knew something about the church was right, so I went ahead and got baptized December 6, 2003. That was nearly 8 years ago now and I look back to see how my life had changed. A few of my close friends at PV ended up going down the wrong path, getting involved in drugs and alcohol and other behaviors that aren't acceptable. (But to be fair a lot of my PV friends were great kids similar to my Dixie ones). But my close friends at Dixie never once put me in a situation where any of my morals or values had to be tested. Still to this day I have never been offered drugs or alcohol, and when I look at the world we live in I am so grateful I never had to worry about that!

I attribute that to the friends I have. So many college kids spend their nights partying, smoking weed, playing some beer pong or what have you. But those people don't know the value of good friends. The kind of friends that hold to their morals and set an example for you to strive for. It’s kind of like the saying "Friends don't let friends drink and drive. But real friends don't let friends drink at all." There is never any question of judgment when I am with them.

To sum it up, I have real friends. They continuously change my life for the better. Even if it means we spend our days talking about NASCAR in redneck accents, I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Finer Things in Life.

In today's world so much emphasis is put on our status. (Not to be confused with Facebook status) but where we go to school, where we work, what we drive, who we date, how we dress etc. Many people may look at my life and think I'm above them. And their probably right. I mean after all I drive a 99 Camry, possibly the finest piece of machinery to ever be assembled. I attend a prestigious university in a town which could be considered a growing metropolis. I've got so many friends it is nearly impossible to make time for all of them. But behind the glitz and glammer known as my life, I often reflect on the finer things in life that that I appreciated as a kid before so much emphasis was placed on our status in society, when we could just be happy. Just to briefly bring this into perspective here's a quick list.

-90's music. We were absolutely blessed to live during an era where 9/10 songs on the radio were golden. If you don’t agree, check out some tasty licks by these artists! (Third Eye Blind, Weezer, Foo Fighters, Hanson, Green Day, Hootie and the Blowfish, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Fastball, Eve 6, R.E.M., Deep Blue Something,) That is barley scratching the surface! There are so many amazing groups. So what if most of them were one hit wonders? When you make music that good you only need one hit.

-Elementary School. You hang out with your friends all day! You get to kick the girl you like and it’s acceptable. You enjoy learning. Who doesn't remember songs about states and capitols, presidents, or my favorite, the water cycle? Every Friday was pizza day. Pogs, yoyo’s, pick-up sticks, pokemon cards, four square, etc. My biggest worry in elementary school was if I was going to get the good basketball for recess.

-90’s Television. (All That, Kenan and Kel, Boy Meets World, Full House, Saved by the Bell, Doug, Rugrats, Hey Arnold!, Recess, Rocket Power, Seinfeld, Simpsons) just to name a few classics.

-Night Games. Those few hours held so much value. As young whippersnappers you don't get to hang out whenever you want. But come Friday night you know a dope game of capture the flag is going down. I'm not talking across a yard or two with only five kids; I’m talking the big show across the entire neighborhood. Kids are jumping fences into strangers’ back yards, wearing dark clothes in the middle of the street, (so what if a car can't see you?) Hiding in thorny bushes, all just to capture someone’s dirty sock, only to find out the other team already won and your efforts bring no rewards.

Those are just a few of the finer things in life that bring me joy just thinking about them. I use to only worry about what cereal I wanted in the morning. Now on top of that, I've got college classes, homework, I need a job! I’ve got bills to pay. I need to find a suitable young woman to court so I can take her to the temple. Choose a career in life. All of this pressure and stress can build up and bring us down. We all need to take a step back from the fast paced world that rules us and just reflect on the finer things in life that bring simple, pure joy.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Losing my blogging virginity

Well after months and months of debating with myself, and literally no research about blogs, I've decided to jump on the band wagon  and share my thoughts with world. I continually asked myself what I would blog about. "What goes on in my life that anyone would care enough about to read?" Well, I never got an answer to that question because quite frankly, as the title suggests, my life is abnormally average. Seeing as how it's nearly 1:30 am and I'm posting from my phone this initial post should not be used as a measuring rod for future entries. To give a quick run down of what this blog may or may not entail, it is just whatever is going on at that time in my life. Ex. (Meeting a new really cute girl who will have me locked up in the "friendzone" before our first date. School and the joys and stresses that come with it. My hilarious friends that are only mildly comical to people outside our group. Sports, music, and other entertainment sources.) Just to name a few. Basically there is no rhyme or reason to what will show up on this blog, but my goal is to entertain, inform, and give what little insight I have about the world around me. I hope you will all treat this as a buffet and come back for seconds, not because of the quality, but just because it's here. - Teej